How the Story Ends
by ballistics belle
Summary: "What if I don't care?" He said defiantly. Her face fell and the sadness in her eyes made him instantly feel bad. "I care. How do you think I'd feel if something happened to you…and it was my fault?" She whispered. Tiva. Some vague spoilers for season 10
1. The Dance

**A/n: **So I think I can speak for everybody when I say I didn't see that I didn't see that ending coming. But after watching the episode I realized how perfectly this song fit with it and this wouldn't leave me alone. I'm hoping to have a few more chapters to add to this soon.

_Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared beneath the stairs above. For a moment, all the world was right. How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye?...Holding you, I held everything. For a moment wasn't I the king? But if I'd only known how the king would fall, well who's to say you know I might have changed it all. And now, I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance.—Garth Brooks, The Dance_

He was always amazed at the way they fit together. How it didn't matter whether he was pulling her to his side or into his arms, she always seemed to fall perfectly into the nooks and crannies of his body. It was like she was the final puzzle piece. Maybe she was. He knew he wasn't the same when she wasn't around. He was incomplete somehow. Maybe she was the thing that put him together, the thing that made it all make sense. He had never spoken truer words than those under the influence of truth serum and unbridled hope.

'_Couldn't live without you I guess'_

He had tried. Lord knows he had tried to move on, to find a way to be okay without her in his life but no matter what he always ended up just feeling empty and alone. After Somalia he started to admit at least to himself that it wasn't enough to just be her friend. He wanted more. He wanted her in his every aspect of his life. He loved her and it terrified him because he hadn't truly loved anyone since his mother. But a relationship back then would have only ended in disaster. She was damaged, he wasn't ready and so they continued on in blissful ignorance, swearing they were just friends.

'_You are not alone'_

As much as he's still kind of pissed at being left out of the loop, he's also extremely grateful that Gibbs ordered him to go with her to Europe. It's the chance he needs to get her away from everyone else and get her attention again. He can still fix things. They aren't completely broken yet. He can make see that he's still there, still waiting for her when she's ready. And if Bodnar is out of the way then maybe she finally will be.

'_I'm tired of pretending'_

He's an opportunist. It's a trait he inherited from his father. As they sit at the bar, sipping martinis scanning the crowd discretely for their target he finds his moment. Sure, pulling her out on the dance floor is a tactical move to allow them to continue their surveillance but it's also a selfish one on his part. Her hair is down, her dress is short and he wants so badly to hold her in his arms and remind her how good they are together before it all goes down.

She looks at him and for a moment it's just her and him. Everything he's ever wanted is literally right there in the palm of his hands and he never wants to let go. But then the drop happens and she slips away from him, back to reality and he can't help but wonder if they missed their chance again.


	2. Goodbye in Her Eyes

**a/n: **So this is how I wish things had worked out after "Shiva". It was so heartbreaking when Tony found out what Ziva and McGee were doing and so I decided to fix it. This is how she should have dealt with the situation with her partner instead of just leaving him in the dark. This is inspired by parts of _Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince _by J.K Rowling and _The Pact _by Jodi Picoult

_I saw goodbye in her eyes, don't think I can change it. There's no way to disguise, we will never make it. Should I hold on to what we had? Is it just a waste of time? One thing that I know for sure, I saw goodbye in her eyes.—Zac Brown Band, Goodbye in Her Eyes_

"We need to talk." Ziva declared as she burst into his apartment that night.

"Oh?" Tony, who was laid out of the couch, barely lifted his head off the armrest at the intrusion. He had gotten used to her unannounced entrances by now. Ever since he'd brought her home after her father's murder he had told her that his door was always open for her and for once his offer didn't go ignored. Ziva often stopped by his place after work or a nightmare or sometimes just to hang out. It was nice after so many years of living in solitude to have someone around every now and then. "What about?"

"Us." She said, making it across the room in three long strides.

"Uh oh. The words no man ever wants to hear." He replied, sitting upright so that he could face her as she sat on the coffee table across from him.

"Tony, I need you to be serious right now." Ziva snapped and something sunk deep in his gut. He'd seen this look from her before and nothing good ever came of it.

"What's going on Zi?" He asked. His unease with the situation must have showed because some of the tension left her face and she reached over to take one of the hands that were sitting limply in his lap.

"These last few weeks, they have been…like something out of someone else's life. You have been everything I could have possibly needed and more. You have no idea how much it has meant to me to have you by my side." She started. Her tone was soft and gentle and did absolutely nothing to dissolve the lump of dread that was building in his throat.

"But?" He choked out.

"_But_ I need you to…let me go, to not be so close right now. I need space." Ziva finished.

"This is about Bodnar, isn't it?" Tony gave her a knowing look and to her credit, she didn't look away when the look turned cold.

"There are things that I have to do alone now. Bodnar uses people his enemies are close to. You are my partner and I would not put it past him to use you as bait. Think how much danger you'll be in if you keep this up. He'll know. He'll find out. He'll try and get to me through you." She pleaded. Ziva never pleaded. She demanded, insisted, threatened or bargained but she never pleaded. Tony didn't like it.

"What if I don't care?" He said defiantly. Her face fell and the sadness in her eyes made him instantly feel bad.

"_I _care. How do you think I'd feel if something happened to you…and it was my fault?" She whispered.

"Ziva," Tony sighed, giving the hand she was still holding a squeeze. "There are a lot of things you could ask me to do and I would comply without question, but asking me to walk away from you is the one thing I can't do, I won't."

"Tony…."

"No Zi. I won't let you go after this bastard without back-up." He insisted. Ziva shook her head, the pained look still lingering in her eyes.

"You do not understand Tony. I am trying to protect you. I could not live without myself if Ilan got to you. I cannot lose anyone else. So please, let me do this."

"Ziva, think about what you're asking." Tony begged as his desperation began to set in. Ziva just smiled sadly at him.

"I have." She replied, ending any further discussion on the topic. She moved to stand and Tony instead used the hold he had to pull her close. She let him to wrap his arms around her and placed a kiss on the top of her head, his emotions overruling his judgment at the moment.

"I love you." He whispered. She shuddered slightly in his embrace and whispered something back that sounded suspiciously like "I know". It was in that moment he knew what he was going to do.

He would let her go despite the fact that it felt way too much like letting go for good. But he would do it because he knew that loving someone meant that putting their needs first no matter how unbearable it seemed. It meant putting her needs first regardless of how screwed up the situation was. It meant watching her go even thought it made him feel as though he was slowly being torn into pieces.


End file.
